my dad and i

well guys,
do you remember my previous post how i spend the whole day with my dad alone? let me tell y'all how it has been since then. it's almost unbelieveble how this small trip helped and changed my entire relationship with my dad. you know, it's just something that has never been there before. for the first time in my life i can say that i love my dad. that i respect him and honor him. in couple of hours i'm off to zilina for a youth conference and i'll return on sunday. my dad just left the home and i won't be with him until then. and so i said goodbye to him and he did to me. and as he was walking out of the room he turned around and huged me. i've never had a real hug with my dad before. but this time it was something i longed for so long...

and you know what's the craziest thing about this all? that all that had to happen was to go on a hike! through one hiking trip God changed everything. to Him be the glory!

somebody's gonna get it...

in a week from today i leave to austria to spend a week there. there's this english project at our school that i stared when i came to this school. it's an international project where schools from europe (slovakia, czech republic, austria, germany, france, ireland) are working together. the first year at high school i went for a week to germany. what i do there is that i live with a student in his family during my stay. the school does many kinds of activities for me and we have lots of fun. in the afternoons and the evening i spend my time with the family.

last year i went to czech republic. at this time i was already a christian and i've decided that one of my goals will be that i want to share the good news with this family. right from the first day i came i was looking for an opportunity to share the gospel (i didn't really want to pop the question out of blue). the day before i was suppose to leave i noticed a big cross hanging on the wall in one of the rooms. so when i was eating the dinner i just said: i saw you have that nice cross downstairs. are you christians? and that opened the door for a conversation that lasted for over an hour and a half. before i left i was with girl that i was living in the family with and i gave her this small gideon bible and said to her: you may think you don't need this now but i want you to keep this. because there might be a day when you need it. she took it and i left.

this time i'm going to austria for a week. i'll stay in a family where the student's name is steven. he's 17 and i'll get to spend quite a lot of time with him. yesterday after the sunday service i said to paula, that i won't see her for two weeks cause i go to austia. and she remembered what i've done when i went to czech republic and she said: oh, somebody's gonna get it. and right after that she added: somebody's gonna get the gospel.

so my friends, i want to ask you for prayers. my main goal during next week will be to share the hope we all have in Jesus - the gospel. and please, just pray that God would use me there and that i would not be blind when the opportunity will come. instead i would recognize it and would go for it with the goal to fulfill what Jesus calls all of us to do - to go and make disciples of all nations...(Mt 28:19)

My first father-son-only time

Just to give you a short backdrop. The relationship I have with my parents is not really good. I mean I'm not happy about the way it is. And I believe my parents see it the same way. The problem is that we're not able to find a way to each other. When I try I miss them and they don't know what I was doing. When they try I don't get them. So we both try but we always miss. It's like we use a different channel to communicate at and we never get the same.

About a month ago I was thinking about my relationship with my dad. You know, I realized that I don't have any. I mean, he's my father but that's it. We have no relationship and that's why it's hard for us to get along well. Then I tried to look into my past to see some history I had with my dad when I was a kid. But there's nothing. Well, there are few things I remember but it's not that great compared that I'm almost nineteen. And so I decided to start new history with my dad.

I was thinking of what I could do with him. How to spend a good time and improve our relationship. I got an idea of going out for a hike. And so I was just waiting for a good weather to come. In the past couple of weeks it was really nice and the spring has come to Trnava and I decided that it's the right time to actually do something. So last week I said to my dad: Can you do me a favor? Don't make any plans for Friday. Just stay home and let me to schedule your day (he had a day off). He agreed and I began planning. It was nice to see that he called me on Thursday and asked me whether it's still going to happen. I could have heard in his voice that he was excited about it (I didn't tell his until the day before what we're gonna do).

So on Friday morning we took a train to a village near by and began our hike (I wasn't really sure about the hike cause I was using the map only and so it was quite possible for me to mess up and get lost:). It didn't take long and we began talking. Couple of times he said that he should have done such a thing (like to take his family out for a trip) a long time a ago. And so I was really happy to see that he realized that building a relationship is an important thing.

I spend with him eight hours that day. It were just him and I. It was our very first time since I remember that I've done anything with my dad. After those eight hours of talking I got to know him much better. We got a lot closer to each other and it helped me to understand my dad a lot more. And he was so excited that he wants to do these kind of thing more often. I think that our relationship got into the whole new level that day.

I just hope that one day, when I'll have my own family and my own children, I won't make the same mistake my dad did. That I would forget how importat it is to have and build the relationship with your own family.

When God's mercy and love suprises you

I'm not talking here about being suprised by God's mercy and love because God Himself says that He is love and He is merciful to many. But what I'm talking here about is when God does something the way that it over exceeds all your imaginations.

Last weekend we had ŠPM. Unfortunately it was our last one in Žilina (there's one more but it's not gonna be in Žilina) so I felt kind of sad that we won't come here for ŠPM anymore. And I looked back into the past and I started from October when we first came to Žilina. I entered the room and saw quite a few people that I had never seen. Actually, Dominik was the only one I knew (and one guy from Trnava - Jožo - but we kind of got to know on the train on the way to Žilina). And I see all of these months as it passed by. We went to Romania, we had TVT in Tatras, youth in Žilina and many more. And then all of these times during the "study" time (I put study in quotes because I never felt the way it was a school - a school is boring, this was not:) when I've learned so much and God was teaching me through these people about Himself in such a great way.

And now I see it's April already and only one more meeting ahead of us. It's sad on one hand that soon it's going to be over. Though on the other hand I'm happy cause it means that we've been through this all and we've been given so much and so now we can go back to our church and we can pass down what has been passed down to us.

And when I came to Žilina for ŠPM the first time I thought that all I'm going to get from this is just some study and knowledge. But God had greater things in mind. Not just that He was teaching me how to be a better servant of His but also He gave me many new people to meet. If someone would have told me in October what all is ŠPM going to bring into my life I would probably not believe him. But it has brought way more than I thought it could.

And that's why I'm so thankful in these days. That He had much better plans for me that I could imagine. He has done way more then I ever expected Him to do. I didn't ask. I didn't even know that I wanted it or needed it for that matter. But as Jusus says: your Father knows what you need before you ask him. (Mt 6:8)

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;

his love endures forever.

(Psalm 118:1)

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want...

In the past year God was greatly showing me how He takes care of His own children. It was about a year ago when I went to a youth workers conference and at that time I was facing the question whether to join the Dorast team or not. Beside the question itself whether I was called into this ministry I was facing another problem. When I was thirteen I got a job (delivering newspapers) and ever since I (almost) always had a job and that means I was used to have some income (for me as a kid and later student it was a great thing). In the matter of money I was able to take care of myself for extra stuff. So I wanted to go for a summer camp or a conference, for a trip or to get a driving license I had my own money that I used. I didn't need (almost) any help from my parents. And not just this kind of things I used the money for. If I wanted something (like my first iPod) I always used my money.

I was working mainly on Fridays and Saturdays. But now there was a problem because Dorast happens on Saturdays and there was no way for me to be able to be working at the Building on Fridays and be doing Dorast on Saturdays and still do the newspapers in between. So I was facing these two decisions:
1. Go for Dorast and leave the job and after a long time be without any income
2. Keep the job and not joining the team

At this youth workers conference I somehow found confidence that if I would go with the first option it would be good. And so I said to God something like this:
"Lord, I'm going to leave my job so I can serve You. I'll give up on everything that comes from this job in exchange for being able to work for You. But I have a request. Please, You must take care of me. I'm giving myself to You and completely trusting You that You'll take care of me."
And so I left my job and joined the team. During the summer I worked at the camps we do here in Trnava but there were events that I really wanted to attend. Like the youth conference and CampFest and like that. But there was a problem. I didn't have any money and I didn't know of any way how to earn money. But then God began showing me His caring love and provided me enough money to go everywhere I wanted to go to. Enough to go to the conference and CampFest and even more. God provided abundantly.

And throughout the whole year I saw how God was taking care of everything I needed. It really helps me to understand better what it means when Jesus says: But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. I said to God: I'll do whatever You want me to. But take care of me. And He did so in a way that blows me away every time I think about it.

And not that He was taking care of my material needs only. As He was leading me through this year He was teaching me so much about myself. Showed me who I am and where is my place in His kingdom. And He was so gracious to me that He showed me love in a way I have never seen before and that's changing my life...

When you find your old self coming back

Kind of a weird title, huh? What I mean by that is what happens when you find the old things you thought that are gone coming back? Let me explain...

My own case is that I came from the world. My parents were not (and still are not) Christians and so I was growing there for seventeen years. Then God called me to follow Him and I left the old and decided to go where He sends me to. Until now it's been almost two years since I left my old life and I'm building a new one. Leaving wrong behind and making right. As the name of this blog says: the old has gone, the new has come.

But in these days I find some of the things I've rejected trying to come back. And it's not like I'm changing my opinions or values it's that the opinions and values I once rejected try to come back on the surface. I am living my life the best way I can (though it's not that awesome) and am making decisions the best way I can as well. But then these wrong things and ideas begin to pop up in my mind and urge and disturb me from the inside. Things I once tried to destroy are coming back and then I actually end up fighting against my old self. And I think that the way that Paul describes himself is quite accurate in my case too:

...I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members (Romans 7:23).

And so this seems to me now as an ongoing battle between who I used to be and who I am now. Jesus says that The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak (Mark 14:38). But I have the assurance that this battle has been already won by Christ and I don't have to be afraid. I just need to keep on running the race...

When the punishment comes

Our God is the Righteous Judge, says Paul in his second letter to Timothy. That fact comfort us many times when we are wronged or something unjust happens. When there is nobody that understands us and we feel lonely. The thought that God is righteous and just and that evil will be punished is a strong one. But there are times when the fact of the righteous judge strikes us down. And that happens when we did something wrong and it's us who deserves the punishment. What do we do then, when we realize that God is not pleased what we were doing and He's about to punish us for our sins?

First of all about the punishment. Does God actually need to punish us? I mean, Christ has been punished in our place and there's no more wrath of God that would remain on us, right? So why would God want to punish us? As I was reading Leviticus 26 I was amazed when I read what all would God bring upon Israel if they would obey His commandments. But after this part God is revealing the other side of the contract: What happens when they don't obey. And God is saying all this hard (and not nice) things He would do to His people. He says over and over ...if you will not listen to me and carry out all these commands, and if you reject my decrees and abhor my laws and fail to carry out all my commands and so violate my covenant, I will... and then He says all this different things how He would punish them. Later He says: I will turn your cities into ruins and lay waste your sanctuaries, and I will take no delight in the pleasing aroma of your offerings. I will lay waste the land, so that your enemies who live there will be appalled. All of those words are strong words if God is telling them to you. He goes so far that They [Israelites] will run as though fleeing from the sword, and they will fall, even though no one is pursuing them.

And you ask: What does He want to do? What is the purpose of this all? And God tells us later to the end of the chapter: then when their uncircumcised hearts are humbled and they pay for their sin, I will remember my covenant with Jacob and my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land. And then God adds to this all saying: Yet in spite of this, when they are in the land of their enemies, I will not reject them or abhor them so as to destroy them completely, breaking my covenant with them. I am the LORD their God. But for their sake I will remember the covenant with their ancestors whom I brought out of Egypt in the sight of the nations to be their God. I am the LORD. Do you see that? The only reason why God is letting the punishment to come upon His people that He loves and has chosen is that they might turn away from their sins and would run back into the arms of their LORD! So that they can see that He is the LORD alone. And we're told in the book of proverbs because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. The only reason why He let this "punishment" to happen to us is just because He loves us and wants us to leave our own ways and run to Him.

So when we realize that we've done something wrong and then we see consequences of our act it's good to try to look at it not that God is bringing His judgment upon us to destroy us but to actually heal us and restore.

But despite all this our God also says about Himself: The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. That's who our LORD really is. Just, abounding in love and with that all as the Righteous Judge.

So when a punishment comes we should rejoice because our Father is calling us back to Him and when we do so then our joy may be full.