Be a man...

Last week I went to conference for youth workers in Žilina. The ministry called Kompas does this conference and this one was the 15th. Since Kompas does ŠPM as well, and I am a student there, I was at this conference as a volunteer. But before I’ll tell you more about this conference let me tell you first about other conferences I’ve been to...
The very first one was in September 2007, just two months after I became a Christian. It was a youth conference. At this conference God showed me a new way for my life and He started showing me what He wants me to do. As well at this conference (through a hard experience but anyway, I’ve got to understand who God really is in His mercy, love, forgiveness and justice. This was quite a big step forward in my walk with God.
The second conference I went to was KPM – exactly a year ago. At that time I was deciding whether to join the Dorast team or not. Whether that’s what God wants me to. As well there was this money issue since I would have to leave my part-time job in order to do Dorast (and ever since I was 13 I always had a job and some kind of income and I was quite independent from my parents – speaking of money). So I was used to always have some money and now it would mean that I have to give this up in order to do Dorast. At last year’s KPM I’ve decided to go for it and join the team. I remember saying to God: Look God, you want me to do Dorast for you? OK. I’ll do it you You MUST take care of me. I’ll work for you only in the case You promise me You will provide everything I need. OK? And after the conference I said to others that I’m accepting the offer to join the team.
So these two conference were quite milestones in my Christian life. And that’s why I expected next conference not to be any different. And right the first day of the conference I found out what was God trying to teach me and show me. And I already wrote about this so I’m not going to do it again. Here it is: http://marektt.blogspot.com/2008/09/blog-post.html Well, just in short God let me see the truth about me – and it was not nice at all.
A month ago I went to a preaching conference and at that one God made my passion for preaching to grow and more mature. Still it’s something that needs to be developed so greatly but this conference was a good one and useful in many way. Most of all it helped me to really realize how important the preaching is.
Now KPM came once again. And I was wondering what it’s going to bring. What the message is going to be. What will God want to communicate to me. So let me tell you what was the personal message for me and how it affected my life, ok?
Mostly it was because of one lecture I went to. It was about man’s leadership (in family, in church) and what it really means to be a man. To lead and to take the responsibility – to be a man. On Friday I realized one thing. That I was running away from what God calls me to do. For the past three weeks I was trying to find a way how to get out of this and yet I would not be the one that backed off. Why did I want to do that (don’t I remember what happened to Jonah when he decided to ignore what God called Him to do?). And throughout the whole conference (the lecture I already mentioned, the speakers during the main program and people I talked to) God was challenging me do take what He’s calling me to do. Not to run way but to go straight ahead. Not to fear but to trust. To be responsible. Simply – to be a man He calls me to be. And so I said to God once again: Look Lord, You got me into this. I didn’t choose this way. And if you expect me to go for it You must promise me You’re going to take care of me and everything else otherwise I’m not into this if You’re not. You got me into this so either get me out of it or help me to keep going. I see it quite same as Moses saw it when God said to him that He won’t go with the Israelites to the promise land otherwise He would have to destroy them. And what does Moses say to Him back? If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here(Ex 33:15). Moses is saying that if God is not directly and completely involved in what we’re doing it’s better not to do it at all. For He is so important in our lives.
And so I left the conference as a man who is decided to take the responsibility for what God has given him. To trust the Lord that He know better then I and He knows why He’s given me this all. I got to trust Him. To be responsible and most of all – to be a man.