29 augusta, 2009

Last year and the coming one...

Most of the people talk about last year and new toward the end of a calendar year. But that doesn't really mean anything to me (except the year number change:) What really is a year change for me is the end of summer and the beginning of another school year. Why's that? It's simple...it's the time when summer camps are over and another "ministry season" begins.

So yesterday I went on a hike...alone...over night. The plan was simple: Go, be with God, ask and listen. I needed some time to reflect on the past year. What I've done and what I've learned, what was good and what was not. What to change, what to keep. There were many things that happened last year. New kinds of ministries I was involved in, ŠPM, relationships, summer and so on.

So that was one part of the trip. Another one was to be able to answer the question: What now? Where am I right now and where am I going? What do I want to do and, more importantly, what does He want me to do. So I came to this village called Smolenice after 5 pm what gave me about three hours before the Sun would go down and leave me there in the darkness. It takes three hours to get to the place where I wanted to stay over night, so getting lost or having some troubles might have caused me to be forced to sleep wherever I would be at that time. Gladly I made it on time and I was left with about 30 more minutes of twilight so there was still enough time (and light) for me to read Bible. After that I still had lots of time to think, to evaluate, etc. In the middle asking these questions I mentioned above Holy Spirit led me to these verses:

“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.
(1 Corinthians 10:23-24)

What took my attention the most was the part: Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. You know, I ask God many times what He wants me to do. But this time He gave me an answer in His question. He asks: Is that, what you want to do, for your own good or for the good of others? And I think that's what sets things in motion in the coming year. Because after asking this question, and an honest answer to it, we'll be exposed to our true motives.

The main thing that God was constantly teaching me over the past year was to trust Him under all circumstances. There were countless times when I was afraid of the things going on in my life. Things that I cannot control. Things that, in a certain way, control me. And that's when I heard Him speaking to me these words as clearly as never before: Do you trust Me? Do you believe that I AM in control and that I know what I'm doing? Do you believe me? My respond was: Yes, I do. But then, later, I got afraid again and His words came once again. That way He taught me to trust Him constantly. Friends, I have NO idea what God wants to do in my life and with my life. Why He let so many things happen in my life in the past year. Many of them I don't understand...but I know He does. And He know what, why and when. And my job is to be there and wait. Wait for Him to say: Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? So then, when I'm ready, I can respond: Here am I! Send me. (Isaiah 6:8).

23 augusta, 2009

My working trip in Žilina

Last week I came back from Žilina where I spend five days. I was at the place where I used to go last year for the School for Youth Leaders. I was doing miscellaneous stuff. Painting walls, cutting tree, fixing various stuff (like windows, light bulbs [hey, that’s some work too! :D ], etc.).

In July I went to a youth conference and right after that we had an English camp for High scholars and then a Jr. High camp and an English camp for Elementary school kids. Few days after that I went to a music festival called CampFest. I was going through this for over a month. There was almost not single night when I slept more then 6 hrs. So many things happened through that time and every single day I was surrounded by so many people. Don’t get me wrong, I love to be with people, but also I need to have some time when I’m alone. When there’s just me....and God.

So I went to Žilina. What for? To work. You might ask: Hey, the previous paragraph sounded like you need some rest but you go to work more? And my answer is: Exactly! You know, when I worked at Žilina I was using my hands and muscles something that I didn’t get a chance to use so much during the camps (okay, there was soccer, but that doesn’t count...you know what I’m talking here about).

Most of the time I spent there I was alone. And you know what? It was great! That’s what I needed so much. To have some time when there’s just me. I didn’t mind to be alone at all. My mind had finally some time to process everything that had happened since the end of June. There was so much to settle down and think through. And it was so needed for me. Frankly, I even dare to say that it was the best week in the whole year. Not because it was so exciting but because it was something so needed. Now I actually realize that if I hadn’t gone there I would miss so much and I would miss this all in the coming year. It was a spiritual refreshment for me that was so important for me in order to serve this coming year.

You know, I wasn’t learning so much about God that week. It wasn’t so much about Him but about me. I was learning a lot about myself. Who I am and where am I going? Who does God want me to become? And where does He want me to go? What does He want me to do? All the questions were me-related but so important to know and to be able to answer. I’ve realized many things and started to see more than I had seen before.

When I was leaving they thanked me for helping them there. But I just replied: It might seem to you that I ministered to you, but in fact, you ministered to me. They have no idea how important that week was/is to me. And not just for today, but for way longer. Maybe for the whole school year...but I’m more then sure that it’s for a longer then that. They ministered to me with the place they provided (that I was able to come at all), the fellowship they shared with me throughout the week and care and love they showed for me. I can just say that it meant a lot to me...

I really like going to Žilina. I have many friends there that I’m always happy to see. Spent there great weekends at ŠPM and my life was changed in more ways then just one. And I pray for those guys that are going to start ŠPM too in October that God would speak to them directly and clearly just as He did to me. And that the Lord would change their lives through all the people they are about to meet.