29 augusta, 2009

Last year and the coming one...

Most of the people talk about last year and new toward the end of a calendar year. But that doesn't really mean anything to me (except the year number change:) What really is a year change for me is the end of summer and the beginning of another school year. Why's that? It's simple...it's the time when summer camps are over and another "ministry season" begins.

So yesterday I went on a hike...alone...over night. The plan was simple: Go, be with God, ask and listen. I needed some time to reflect on the past year. What I've done and what I've learned, what was good and what was not. What to change, what to keep. There were many things that happened last year. New kinds of ministries I was involved in, ŠPM, relationships, summer and so on.

So that was one part of the trip. Another one was to be able to answer the question: What now? Where am I right now and where am I going? What do I want to do and, more importantly, what does He want me to do. So I came to this village called Smolenice after 5 pm what gave me about three hours before the Sun would go down and leave me there in the darkness. It takes three hours to get to the place where I wanted to stay over night, so getting lost or having some troubles might have caused me to be forced to sleep wherever I would be at that time. Gladly I made it on time and I was left with about 30 more minutes of twilight so there was still enough time (and light) for me to read Bible. After that I still had lots of time to think, to evaluate, etc. In the middle asking these questions I mentioned above Holy Spirit led me to these verses:

“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.
(1 Corinthians 10:23-24)

What took my attention the most was the part: Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. You know, I ask God many times what He wants me to do. But this time He gave me an answer in His question. He asks: Is that, what you want to do, for your own good or for the good of others? And I think that's what sets things in motion in the coming year. Because after asking this question, and an honest answer to it, we'll be exposed to our true motives.

The main thing that God was constantly teaching me over the past year was to trust Him under all circumstances. There were countless times when I was afraid of the things going on in my life. Things that I cannot control. Things that, in a certain way, control me. And that's when I heard Him speaking to me these words as clearly as never before: Do you trust Me? Do you believe that I AM in control and that I know what I'm doing? Do you believe me? My respond was: Yes, I do. But then, later, I got afraid again and His words came once again. That way He taught me to trust Him constantly. Friends, I have NO idea what God wants to do in my life and with my life. Why He let so many things happen in my life in the past year. Many of them I don't understand...but I know He does. And He know what, why and when. And my job is to be there and wait. Wait for Him to say: Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? So then, when I'm ready, I can respond: Here am I! Send me. (Isaiah 6:8).

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