24 marca, 2009

When you find your old self coming back

Kind of a weird title, huh? What I mean by that is what happens when you find the old things you thought that are gone coming back? Let me explain...

My own case is that I came from the world. My parents were not (and still are not) Christians and so I was growing there for seventeen years. Then God called me to follow Him and I left the old and decided to go where He sends me to. Until now it's been almost two years since I left my old life and I'm building a new one. Leaving wrong behind and making right. As the name of this blog says: the old has gone, the new has come.

But in these days I find some of the things I've rejected trying to come back. And it's not like I'm changing my opinions or values it's that the opinions and values I once rejected try to come back on the surface. I am living my life the best way I can (though it's not that awesome) and am making decisions the best way I can as well. But then these wrong things and ideas begin to pop up in my mind and urge and disturb me from the inside. Things I once tried to destroy are coming back and then I actually end up fighting against my old self. And I think that the way that Paul describes himself is quite accurate in my case too:

...I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members (Romans 7:23).

And so this seems to me now as an ongoing battle between who I used to be and who I am now. Jesus says that The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak (Mark 14:38). But I have the assurance that this battle has been already won by Christ and I don't have to be afraid. I just need to keep on running the race...

1 komentár:

Ande Truman povedal(a)...

I can empathize with you on this, brother! Press on towards the goal!