21 septembra, 2008


hey everybody,

some of you might wonder why i didn't write anything for a while. it's not because here's nothing good enough to write about. so let's begin with the biggest news of the last couple of weeks.

last weekend we had a youth conference of our church. that was awesome. i really like this conference. it's happening once a year and every time a different church is hosting it. and i was really looking forward to this conference cause i so far each conference i've been to (only three) had a special message for me. and each one of 'em was a little milestone for me in my christian life so i was wondering what God had prepared for me this time. and i gotta tell you that this conference was the biggest milestone in my christian life so far (not counting becoming a christian of course). do you wanna know what was the message this time? keep reading...

so far these messages were good and encouraging. but this one was probably the hardest to take. at the conference God let me to see my heart the way it is. not the way i want to see it. and that got me on my knees. cause just all of sudden i saw that my ministry wasn't like i thought it was. that my reasons and my attitudes weren't set right. to realize you stopped to serve God alone is a knocking-down event for a christian. and ever since then i'm finding myself unable to serve, to do ministry and praise the LORD with my life. so in these days i'm trying to repent. to humble myself and ask God for restoring my heart. to live for God is what i love the most. to serve Him is my pleasure. and i just see myself i'm not doing this anymore and i need to get back as soon as possible. all these days i feel empty inside. trying to burn up with love for Christ once again. asking Him for mercy.it's really hard. cause Christ is filling of my life and i'm having problems with that right now what means that my life is not filled and is empty. my soul is starving for the LORD and wants to feel His presence. it's really hard to live the way i live for the past week. i know that God is teaching me a lesson. and i got to learn it. i don't know how long is this all gonna take. i just know that the LORD is in control of everything and must trust Him completely.
please, pray that i will learn the lesson and that this all will be used for the glory of Christ!


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