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sometimes you just go through your life wondering what it's going to bring. there are times when you have no idea why certain things happen. and many times you feel confused by times like these. but there's only one thing that can you can rely on in any time of your life - that God is always in charge. you know, that fact helps me a lot. cause when you feel like everything you do is just wrong and you don't feel doing anything right you can be more then sure that even though you mess up He's still there and He's not about to leave you at all. and that's the way i feel in these days. not sure what's right and what to do. but i'm sure in one thing that i can do - trust Him alone.

and even though y'all don't know what is the thing in my life right now (that i've been writing about in the past few days) i was standing in front of two decisions. i pictured them out like this. the first one is that this is going to be the last chapter of this story in my life. the other one looks at it as a play and this is the first part of it. now is a break but the second part will eventually start. and during this break i got to get ready! the reason why i chose to have this play-kind-of-style is because i don't feel that this is suppose to be the last part of the story and that there's something more to come. but all of that in the second part and until that time will come i must get ready.

once a friend of mine told me this:

In the times when I feel that everything goes wrong I realize that everything is just in a perfect order.

and i thought about this statement and found it to be quite true. it has happened so many times when i thought that everything just went wrong but later i saw that it had to happen so greater things could follow. and after all, when Jusus was on the cross everybody thought that it's all wrong and it's over - but it wasn't. it was just in a perfect order and just the beginning.