28 februára, 2009

friday breakdown

it never happened to me before but i was so surprised when i looked back and saw what actually happened. so here's my reflection....

it's friday morning and i didn't go to school. i planned to work on my essay that i got to do for ŠPM. and so around 9:30am i came to the building and began to work on it. and it went quite well. but then at 1.00 i had to stop and go back home to have a lunch. and my mom told me that i must get a haircut by friday (because my hair was too long she said). and so i went to a hairdresser but she said she won't have time for me until 2:30pm. and so i ran back to the building and did some set up for the evening program and then i ran back to the hairdresser and got a hair cut. then ran back to the building and worked on the essay for a while again. and then we had a meeting and at was already 5.00 and the building was opened. [kind of fast - i did not plan it to be that way]

in the evening from friday to saturday we were doing boys night at the building (what actually is that the boys stay over the night at the building and we're watching movies, playing video games, etc...). this was our third boys night. for the first one only three guys showed up. for the second one (after people knew what it's like) about eight guys came. when i asked the boys who plans on staying over the night eighteen guys raised their hands!!! and we bought food for only ten guys. at this point i bagan to feel stressed.

but the thing is that i don't get stressed because things are not working out the way i want them to. usually i decide not to stress about it cause i know it makes things only worse. and usually (if it's like important) i just rely on the fact that God's will is going to be done anyway. but for some reason i didn't make it this time. i freaked out! i mean, i didn't feel like dominik and i can handle eighteen guys for the whole evening (last time we had some problems - and that were only eight guys). and we didn't have enough food and we were running out of time and i was tired already from the whole day and dominik came around 9.30 pm and it was all up to me to decide what and how is going to happen and i don't know what else. i just know i didn't make it.

and the day went by and after all (because God blessed the evening) we had a great time together and had lots of fun. and i was thinking, what in the world was the reason that i failed. i mean, it never happened to me before. and i realized, that this time i forgot to trust God that He would mightly take care of everything. and i kind of left Him from the picture. i feel like i thought He would not take care of this all and that it was all my burden to carry. i was so wrong. but i'm glad that after all He showed me grace and not just that He took care of everything but as well He tought me a lesson. a presious one - trust the LORD God Almighty alone! anytime and with anything.

Žiadne komentáre: